Marriage by Design

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. There, I said it as succinct;y as I think I can. This is not an area I dwell on and it has nothing to do with having a heart. I have a heart. I have a heart for people. Admittedly, I too often hide it behind a tough exterior and words of sarcasm. I protect my heart, because it is easily broken. The issue of marriage, however, was settled before my heart took a beat. It is not about what I think and especially not about what I feel. That is true for you, as well. It is about what God thinks and about what God feels.

I am glad that I don’t have to make pronouncements against those who chose to live a lifestyle contrary to the Maker’s design. To do so would hurt some very kindhearted people. People who otherwise live lives that too often are better toward their fellow man than those who bear the name of Christ. I do, however, have the responsibility to speak what God has inspired in His Word. For this purpose, the reception of the words I must speak is the responsibility of the hearers and it is between them and the Almighty.

Marriage is sacred. The Word of God makes this very clear. The bond between a man and a woman is according to the design of the Creator. This is taken up in the second chapter of the first book in the Bible. The pairing of man and woman is not about emotion, it is about design. This is something for those of you seeking a marriage partner to remember, Romance is a matter of emotion, but your pairing is about design. Read the Scripture with me:

And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.  

        Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, 

because she was taken out of Man."  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to 

        his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:22-24

Now, for all those who will proclaim me harsh in my follow up statements, I will tell you now, reread the inspired account provided by the One Who accomplished the design. Where does Adam ask Eve out on a date? Bring her flowers? Wine her and dine her? Go to a movie, a dance, a concert, etc.? Where is the romance? Design accounts for none of this - these are man’s additions to the Creator’s design. Mankind has added so much to His work that today it is unrecognizable. It has gone from rib to romance to ribald to revolting. Oh, Pastor Larry, you have no heart! Read on if you dare.

See, the Bible speaks to marriage again and again. It does talk about the love between man and wife, but always and only within God’s design. If we put God’s design first, relationship follows and romance blossoms. This is my  oversimplification of how it works, distilled from the following Scriptures:

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,   a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love Proverbs 5:18-19

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Proverbs 31:10

He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,  and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:4-6

Can you see the pattern? A good wife is from God. This follows God’s design. Jesus stressed design in the passage from Matthew and it is echoed in Mark 10:6-9. What was one flesh in creation became two, but in marriage returns to one flesh. Design. The Apostle Paul speaks to marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, Ephesians 5:22-23. Colossians 3:18-19 and Hebrews 13:4-7. I encourage you to read them as well, but for our purposes we will move on.

So, one may ask, what is wrong with a marriage between the same genders? God is a God of love, after all, and love conquers all! If my argument for design does not answer this question, a further look at Scripture should, but in all likelihood won’t. Still, I am called to proclaim the whole counsel of God. Here is what the Almighty, the Creator and King of the Cosmos and beyond has to say on the subject:

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Leviticus 18:22

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:13

And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel. 1 Kings 14:24

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. Romans 1:26-27

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. 1 Corinthians 6:9

Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine. 1 Timothy 1:9-10

These verses are harsh, aren’t they? We don’t like words like abomination, but here it is, used to convey God’s attitude toward those who chose not to follow His design. We don’t like to think about matters that speak to other than God’s love. Well, whose problem is that, ours or God’s? But you say, “God is love.” Yes, that is Scripturally one of God’s attributes. Others are wrathful, jealous, holy. righteous, and on and on. 

The Scriptures are adamant that the Creator finds efforts by His creatures to upset His purposes comical. They are doomed to failure. His will cannot be thwarted.

He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision. Psalm 2:

Many are      Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

The LOR       The LORD of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand" Isaiah 14:24

For the LORD of hosts hath purposed, and who shall disannul it? And his hand is stretched out, and who shall turn it back? Isaiah 14:27

But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Romans 9:20

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. This is the will and the Word of God. The matter is settled and nothing can change it. Not the temporal powers of the air, not governments, not men’s laws and not the hearts and intentions of men (read woman, also). Sure, man can put the appearance of acceptability on other lifestyles, but they will not be approved of by the Creator, He will not sanction them, He will not change His design. In the end, it will go as mankind’s failed attempt to reach the heavens with the Tower of Babel. It will end in man’s frustration and confusion. It is against His design.

Every time I look at or into creation, I am amazed. I am amazed by its beauty, but I am blown away by the unity of design. Marriage is one of those beautiful things that brings unity and unity by design. God has ordained it and blesses it, but only as it falls within His purpose, His will and His design. May we live consistent with His design.